Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Fanboy Rising

I may have entered an entirely new realm of geekdom yesterday. I appeared on the G4 network’s ATTACK OF THE SHOW in a Crossfire-esque segment called “the Loop” (sposored by Yaris). The debate was what was referred to as an age old comic book battle, “Batman vs. Superman.” Which I, to be honest, don’t think is much of a battle, for numerous reasons, which I won’t get into here (I think I've crammed enough Superman down your collective throats for a while... so to speak).

My pal, cartoonist Bob Fingerman (who couldn’t care less about superheroes) recommended me for the gig and was the “creamy nougat center of neutrality” in the debate, at least until his feed went dead and I was left alone with the Batvocate. (As a side note, Bob was happy that he got to plug his upcoming book, Recess Pieces, and that he was not referred to as a “comic book expert.”)

Whether the debate was won or lost is a matter of opinion. Some have told me that I mopped the floor with the guy.

Okay, so I mopped the floor with the guy. But it’s not his fault. Maxim Magazine associate editor Jon Wilde, as we discovered while chatting in the green room before the show, isn’t even a comic book fan. He was a late replacement for author Scott Beatty, who has written numerous books about Batman (as well as Superman, to be honest). That probably would’ve been a more fair fight.

But I still woulda’ won.

Sequestered alone in a room at a Manhattan studio (Bob and Jon were in different rooms at the same place), I wasn’t sure at all how I was doing while the LIVE broadcast was occurring (gulp). It wasn’t until I got home late last night that I watched the DVR of the show and was stunned that I wasn’t mortified... at ALL... by the whole thing. Even I thought I came off okay.... within context, of course. I mean, Giant Nerd in a Bizarro Superman T-shirt, yes. But somewhat eloquent and funny, I think.

I was even called the nerdiest thing she’d ever seen by show co-host Blair Butler, the hottest comic book dork on Earth, a woman whose existence I only discovered last weekend. Oh, Blair... and we could’ve made such geekiful music together!

The funny thing is, my fanboy seems to be rising again. While there was a period some time back where I was losing interest in keeping up with the medium, that’s changed again recently. No doubt Superman Returns (box office dud that it is.... sigh) has something to do with it, but I think it has more to do with retreating into my own Fortress of Solitude. And I’m feeling more solitary than I ever have in my life (note: this is not a BAD thing).

But whenever I’m feeling overly disconnected from people, my geek level goes up. I know I’m not alone, it’s one of the main reasons why so many comic book / sci fi dorks fit into the stereotype of schlubby, tubby guy with no social skills. It’s not the chicken and the egg: The physicality begat the nerd. When you don’t fit in with so-called “normal” society, when you don’t get invited to the dance, you need to find other things to fill your time. And fantasy worlds where freaks possess incredible powers and justice prevails suddenly become very appealing places in which to retreat.

There are exceptions to the comic book guy stereotype, of course, and I don’t mean myself (see: Blair Butler again). The thing is, as easy as it is to deride the comic book nerd, in many ways, they’re actually cooler than, say, your average rockabilly dude. The rockabilly guy’s entire life revolves around being COOL, crafting a carefully calculated (but completely unoriginal) style that applies to everything from his outfit (jeans, black boots, tattoos, white T-shirt, chain, yawn) to his car to his music to his girlfriend. It’s all about how other people perceive him. And I’m sorry, but anyone who tries THAT FUCKING HARD to be cool.... isn’t.

The comic book nerd, on the other hand, is truly passionate about his world. He dresses for comfort, not style. His tattoos are usually pretty bad. His hair is sparse and unkempt and he doesn’t care. His hygiene can be in question. And his girlfriend... well, if she exists, she usually resembles, well... him. But, again.... HE DOESN’T CARE. He’s happy in his world and if you don’t like it, tough shit. So, in the larger sense, who’s more like Brando in The Wild One?

That may not fit into the typical notion of “cool,” but to me, the overweight schlub in the Hulk T-shirt is usually far hipper than the James Dean wannabe.

And Superman kicks Batman’s ass.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Bronze Beauties #12: THE HOUSE OF MYSTERY

Originally a pale, watered down imitation of the EC horror comics of the 50s, DC Comics' The House of Mystery began in 1951, but hit its heyday in the 1960s and '70s when artists such as Alex Toth, Neal Adams, Berni Wrightson and Wally Wood illustrated stories cooked up by young, drug-induced new comics writing minds!!! By the late 1970s, the book had started to lose steam, but its covers remained usually great right up through the end....here’s a bunch of 'em from the Bronze era...

House of Mystery #186, June 1970. Art by Neal Adams.

House of Mystery #187, August 1970, art by Neal Adams.

House of Mystery #201, April 1972. Art by Michael Wm. Kaluta.

House of Mystery #202, May 1972. Art by Michael Wm. Kaluta.

House of Mystery #204, July 1972. Art by Bernie Wrightson.

House of Mystery #207, October 1972. Art by Bernie Wrightson.

House of Mystery #214, May 1973. Art by Bernie Wrightson.

House of Mystery #220, December 1973. Art by Nick Cardy. 

House of Mystery #222, February 1974. Art by Luis Dominguez. 

House of Mystery #224, May 1974. Art by various artists. 

House of Mystery #235, September 1975. Art by Luis Dominguez.

House of Mystery #236, October 1975. Art by Bernie Wrightson.

House of Mystery #254, October 1977. Art by Neal Adams.

House of Mystery #267, April 1979. Art by Michael Wm. Kaluta.

House of Mystery #277, February 1980. Art by Steve Ditko.

House of Mystery #282, July 1980. Art by Joe Kubert.

House of Mystery #292, May 1981. Art by Joe Kubert.

House of Mystery #294, July 1981. Art by Michael Wm. Kaluta.

House of Mystery #314, March 1983. Art by Michael Wm. Kaluta.

House of Mystery #321, October 1983. Art by Michael Wm. Kaluta.






Sunday, July 09, 2006

Sharpie Tattoo Party 2006

One week ago saw the inaugural STP 2006. The acronym stands for Sharpie Tattoo Party, and the creator credit has to go to Mr. Gary Ashley of Hoboken NJ. Following a long night at the bar, a handful of us retired to my apartment where the mug of Sharpies was busted out and everyone’s flesh became canvas.





















But what all of us didn’t realize until the next morning is that while Sharpies may not be permanent on your skin.... they are on your sheets.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Bronze Beauties #11: Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane

Inside the Superman Fanboy Dilemma Part 5 is up on mtv.com, the final installment of my supremely geeky gushing over the Man of Steel. So, here's our final Bronze Beauties Superman installment (for now).

Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane was a pretty silly comic book, a strange amalgam of superhero, romance and comedy (Note the separation of the words "Girl" and "Friend," giving Kal-El a bit of space. "Hey, she's a girl and she's my friend, she's not my girlfriend!"). From its start in 1958 through the mid-60s, it was an endless stream of tales about the girl reporter either trying to lure the Man of Steel into marriage or replace him with some other unattainable man (a millionaire, an alien, Satan, or worse, some other superhero!!!). In the late ‘60s, Lois got a bit more liberated, socially conscious (as in the classic 1970 tale, “I Am Curious (Black)!”) and independent, although she never really quit trying to bag the last son of Krypton. Guess she never thought of getting knocked up by him....(or did she?)!

Here are two great 70s covers to Lois Lane even though they both defy Super-logic. #127 (Oct. 1972) features a bikini clad Lois about to be, uh, eaten by a great white shark, and Superman can't find her? LOOK DOWN, SUPES! #129 (Feb., 1973) has a serpentine twist on the old bondage cover theme, although it really seems as if Superman WOULD have time to save both women. Art by one of the great underrated cartoonists of all time, Bob Oksner.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Twelve

With Superman Returns now just two weeks away, I’m in trouble. My “cautious optimism” has given way to being geeked like I’m twelve years old again. Early reviews have been mostly glowing and I’ve yet to see one clip that made me wince. The atrocious X-Men: The Last Stand only hammered home how great a director Bryan Singer is, and I’ve even come to not mind the costume so much.

Part of that has to do with seeing it “in person.” Yesterday, Lysa and I made a trek (okay, a pilgrimage) to the Times Square Toys-R-Us to check out their massive Superman Returns display, featuring actual movie props including some kryptonite, one of Jor-El’s crystals (covered with fingerprints, incidentally) and mostly, one of Brandon Routh’s Superman costumes.


The red looks brighter, the texture works and the shortie shorts don’t seem so Speedo-ey. We took a bunch of pictures, did some toy shoppin’ and then headed uptown to see Poseidon in IMAX, primarily to scope out the Superman Returns trailer in that enormous format. I was disappointed that it was the teaser trailer, but it did look fairly amazing (Poseidon blew, but that’s beside the point).


As of now, there’s a group of ten of us going to see Superman Returns on June 28th. I decided that for this gathering, a regular theater might be preferable to the almost overwhelming IMAX, mostly because the odds that all ten of us will be able to get optimum seating together are not good. I mean, with the ability to pre-buy tickets, there’s no need to line up hours early to ensure entrance, but I’d still like to get there early enough to not be in the first, or, worst, LAST row.

I know, I know, this is all rather silly. I’m a 41 year old man getting all excited about going to see a superhero movie with his friends. Whattyagonnado.

Meanwhile, my new kitty, General Zod (just edging out Herbert H. Heebert for the winning appelation) is almost too good to be true. He and Monkey get along tremendously. There was exactly ONE hiss (from Monkey) before they started playing together. Zod (already nicknamed “GeeZee” since I find pet names work best with two syllables) found the litter box right away. He slept curled up next to me on the third night. When I had some people over Sunday night, he didn’t hide at all. ui======
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
And, as witness above, he types.

Oh, sure, he is a kitten, meaning he’s scratching on the couch and playing with loud rolly things at 4am and chewing on electrical wires and getting stuck in tiny spaces, but these things shall pass. He even got drunk by lapping out of a glass of wine the other day (I didn’t see him until he’d had some swigs), making him truly a cat of mine.

I know, I know, I’m a total honking hypocrite, being one of those annoying fucks who talks about his "baby" as if you care. But c’mon.... cats rule. People suck.

Well, most of us. A few of you are pretty swell.

Bronze Beauties #10: Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen


Inside the Superman Fanboy Dilemma Part 4 is up on mtv.com, focusing on collectibles. I wanted to title the piece “To MOC or Not to MOC,” but they thought it was too obscure and went with “Cum On Feel the Toyz.” Sigh.

Anyway, beginning in 1954, SUPERMAN’S PAL, JIMMY OLSEN was the first comic book to star a non-super powered sidekick (Batman’s butler Alfred did have some solo adventures, but never got his own book). Although Jimmy did sometimes gain elasticity ala Plastic Man and fight crime as Elastic Lad (in a dull costume that actually spelled out his name on the chest), and sometimes teamed with Superman in the Batman and Robin-esque duo of Nightwing and Flamebirdin the bottle city of Kandor. Oh, and he was once Giant Turtle Boy.

...You know what? Never mind.

Here are two swell Jimmy covers from very different interpretations in the 1970s. JIMMY OLSEN #141 (Sept., 1971) came during Jack Kirby’s run on the book, a time when the King was bringing some mind-blowing psychedelic concepts to traditionally stodgy DC. Jimmy’s adventures were integrated into Kirby’s so-called “Fourth World,” series surrounding the battle between Darkseid’s Apokolips and the New Gods’ world of New Genesis. Kirby’s twisted imagination was given mostly free reign (even if DC had more traditional house-styled artists like Curt Swan “fix” his Superman faces and S-shields), which included using Don Rickles as a guest star. The cover features pencils by Kirby and inks by Neal Adams, the comic book equivalent of a collaboration between Van Gogh and Gauguin.


When Kirby left the book, it reverted to more standard fare, transforming Jimmy into “Mr. Action,” a hip, scrappy investigative reporter who still usually needed Supes to haul his butt out of the fire. JO #160 (Oct., 1973) sports a cover by Nick Cardy, an artist I didn’t fully appreciate as a child, but have grown to worship.


©DC Comics

Friday, June 09, 2006

Babies, Kittens, Younglings

Okay.... there’s a lot of poop going on right now. More horror in the Middle East, this fuggin’ ridiculous waste of time in Congress and what are people talking about? Shiloh Jolie Pitt, or, as Miss Tanya pointed out, Pile o’ Shit Jolie .... WHY the Ef do people care what celebrities’ babies look like? Why, for that matter, do they care what ANYONE’s baby looks like? Unless it’s yours, babies all look alike and they smell and are just gonna grow up to be jerks like you and me anyway, so who cares?

Speaking of babies, I got a kitten yesterday. Lysa with a Y and I went to the Bergen County Animal Shelter and each got a new cat. Lysa was cool enough to get an adult cat while I went cute and got a kitten. On the way home, my kitten shat kittie diarrhea in its box and promptly got it all over himself (ooh, the Liberty smells good).

So, the first thing I had to do when I got this poor little black and white cat home was dunk him in the sink and get him soaking wet (hardly the best welcome to his new home). The weirdest thing is, he didn’t meow once. I got him clean, dried him off as best I could and let him explore. And then, he promptly vanished. I searched for over an hour and couldn’t find him.

Today, he’s much better. He’s playing behind my steamer trunk and Monkey is staring at him with a mixture (presumably) of confusion and jealousy. I’m not sure the kitten knows how to use the litter box yet (I guess I’ll find out, won’t I?) and he still hasn’t meowed. And I... still have no idea of a name. Geisel was the main contender, but it sounds a bit too.... Tolkeinish.       It’ll come to me.

One thing I WON’T be naming him is Darth Vader. I finally saw Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith on HBO last weekend and as much as I presumed it would be pooey, I had NO IDEA how much it blooooo. This late in the game, I won’t get into my many, many complaints except for one.

The whole point of this convoluted, overblown trilogy was to set up one of the most beloved (although not by me) films of all time. So, the last ten minutes of the film, which tie up all the loose ends and set the stage for the beginning of Episode IV should’ve been the geek money shots, yes? Senator Organa adopts Leia. Yoda takes off for Dagoba. Obi-Wan takes Luke to Tatooine and gives him to Owen & Beru. The droids are given to that guy whose name escapes me (oh, and Threepio’s memory is wiped... so that it makes sense that he has no idea who any of the characters in the next film are). And James Earl Jones gets his old job back.

So, of all these elements, which is the most dramatic? It’s a no-brainer. Anakin has now fully and completely gone to the dark side and the Empire has a firm grip on the galaxy. Nobody disputes that Darth Vader is the star of the show. So how come the movie ends with a shot of Luke’s new family holding the baby Hamill and looking at the sunset on Tatooine? With no dialogue whatsoever?!??!

Why the fuck didn’t the movie end with Vader and the Emperor watching the Death Star being constructed, making some ominous comments about the newly formed Empire’s reign over the universe and gloating over the defeat of the Jedi? Mwah ha ha ha ha!!! We’d all know better, and there’s yer fanboy payoff.

As it was, I sat there alone in my living room shouting “Are you fucking kidding me?!?!” at nobody in particular. But I tend to do that a lot.

Oh, and “younglings.” I cracked up every time someone said the word, “younglings.”

Postscript: As I was writing this, new kitten used the litter box. Phew.